Sunday, August 2, 2009

Yes, I want to lose more

Well, summer has almost come and gone at our house, as far as school vacation is concerned. My oldest son starts Kindergarten on this Friday, so we will be using each morning this week to practice getting up early enough to get to school on time.

Reality is that I made no real progress on my weight and exercise goals between May 1st and August 1st. But I have held steady at 38 pounds lost and I have become more comfortable with what I have done and what else I want to do. I have tried to work-out as much as possible, and while I haven't given myself free rein with food, I have allowed myself to enjoy the food pleasures and conveniences necessary to survive a summer with 3 little ones. I have a comfortable understanding that in order to eat like this, I have to exercise. And if I want to lose more, then I have to exercise more and eat better.

A few friends have asked if I want to lose more. I love the comments that usually come before that question, but the question confuses me a little. According to the various charts, I need to lose a minimum of 20 more pounds. I am wearing a size 14 and while they are comfortable, they are not falling off. So, when a friend that is probably a size 8 or 10 says "You look great, you don't need to lose any more" but then a few minutes later says that she could stand to lose a few pounds, I'm confused.

Is it the result of our skewed perception of our own bodies? Does she see me as smaller than I really am? smaller than I see myself? And in return, does she see herself as larger than she really is? larger than I see her? Because if she thinks she needs to lose a few pounds, then she should think I need to lose more than a few more pounds.

Or, is it part of the evil game we women secretly play to keep each other on the I'm-not-good-enough rollercoaster. Do her words really say, "Oh, honey, a size 14 is good enough for you." While she's thinking, Of course, I'd have my jaw wired shut if it were me. Just kidding...I hope.

Anyway, I'm working on my increased exercise schedule that will start next week. And I'm getting my supplies gathered together to get back on track with the nutrition portion, starting with protein shakes for breakfast. I know that a major key to my success with controlled eating is the food tracking, so I need to redevelop my habit for that.

Yes, I want to lose more. I think I will start by saying I would like to lose 15 pounds more. I don't know what that will look or feel like. I think it will be a clothing size 10. I also want to run more. I'll set a running goal once I get my exercise schedule established.

(Ok, I just used the word "loose" everytime I meant "lose". Please tell me mommy-brain is a reversible affliction?!?!)

Monday, June 22, 2009

Starting Again

I feel like I'm starting again...not starting over, starting again. My mental plateau has now lasted about 7-8 weeks and it is starting to have an effect on my physical results and progress. My weight is the same as it was, +/- 2 pounds (ok, seriously, would I write that if it was really minus 2 pounds? no, so to be honest it is the same plus 2 pounds, which means it is not the same it is PLUS 2 pounds).

I find myself wanting a 20 oz bottle of ice cold Coca-Cola and a candy bar every time I am in the grocery store (which is frequently now because of a new obsession about couponing, more on that later...), a chicken biscuit and Coke every morning for the last 3 weeks as we rushed out the door to baseball camp, swim lessons, and VBS (too rushed to make a shake for breakfast, but enough time to swing through the line at C-F-A?), and frozen pizza for dinner because I haven't planned for dinner and besides we have 20 tubes of toothpaste, 15 sticks of deodorant, 7 boxes of cereal, but no vegetables in the house.

So, I'm starting again. It has been hard to get the gym since the kids got out of school. I kept telling myself that it would be easier once they got out...but no, it never gets will be easier when the kids go back to school, it will be easier in the winter, it will be easier when the weather warms, it never gets easier, so I've got to just keep doing what I know I need to do and just work around whatever and whichever obstacle is in the path today.

I've been learning about couponing and how to coordinate the lowest price of a product with the best coupon available, and I'm really enjoying it. I've been focusing on getting such great deals and "stockpiling" certain things, but I haven't found the balance of doing this while planning out healthy meals for the week. We now have enough shampoo, toilet paper, ziploc bags, spaghetti sauce and fruit snacks to last til October or so, but almost every night I struggle with that dreaded question "What's for dinner". I've been saving about 50-60% each trip for the last 3-4 weeks. I do feel that "high" from the adrenaline rush (i guess?) when I go to check out and I watch that original total tick down as each coupon is scanned. I just need to reorganize and plan out our menus better...again.

I know what I should do, what I'm supposed to do, I just have to come back around and make it what I want to do. Break over...time to start again.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Does Size Matter?

First, a few questions and observations and then the full disclosure update that I meant to do a month ago.

Have clothing sizes changed in 10 years? I'm confused that I can (barely) fit into a pair of new size 12 shorts, but the old size 14 shorts I pulled from the bottom back corner of a drawer are just as snug. I know different brands run differently, but this is happening with a good hand full of items of different brands with the only common thread being when they purchased...old vs. new. I'm really beginning to think the current sizes are cut larger across the industry. So the old question, does size matter? Well according to my ego, the answer is yes and I am perfectly happy to purchase a smaller size these days.

Ok, I had my last session with my personal trainer today. Here are the stats:

36 pounds lost since Oct--7 months

current BMI is 28.6, down from 34
the overweight to normal threshold is 25

% body fat is 34% down from 41%

clothing size is a snug 12 (really a 14 in public!) down from 20W

I no longer have any "W" clothes in my closet and am replacing XL (or XXL) with L

I ordered a new swimsuit in one size smaller than I thought I needed with plans to "work my way into it", well when it arrived it already fits! In fact, I'm a little afraid the top may be too big in 6-8 weeks.

I have set a few new mini-goals for myself:
I would like to lose another 12 pounds by Monday, June 29th. That is exactly 8 weeks away.
I would like to comfortably fit into size 10 clothes by August 1st.
I would like to be able to run (the entire time) a 5K distance by August 1st. That's 3.1 miles and yes, I did have to look it up.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Note to Self...

Quick Note to Self...

Yes, those were size 12 shorts you wore to the baseball field yesterday. You were very proud, weren't you? And yes, you did ask Husband if they were too tight, to which he answered they were not. And no, they did not feel uncomfortable when standing...still. However, size 12 shorts riding up the inside of your (albeit slightly smaller) blindingly pale thighs is just as unattractive as the size 18 shorts riding up same said legs.

Get a (fake) tan, use some lotion, and wait about 4 more weeks before you wear those shorts in public again! Of course, who are you kidding, it will probably take longer than that for them to get washed anyway.