Monday, April 27, 2009

Note to Self...

Quick Note to Self...

Yes, those were size 12 shorts you wore to the baseball field yesterday. You were very proud, weren't you? And yes, you did ask Husband if they were too tight, to which he answered they were not. And no, they did not feel uncomfortable when standing...still. However, size 12 shorts riding up the inside of your (albeit slightly smaller) blindingly pale thighs is just as unattractive as the size 18 shorts riding up same said legs.

Get a (fake) tan, use some lotion, and wait about 4 more weeks before you wear those shorts in public again! Of course, who are you kidding, it will probably take longer than that for them to get washed anyway.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I can't seem to get going.

I can't seem to get going. Even trying to write about it, I find myself surfing other blogs, checking the weather, logging onto the message board at The Daily Plate where I haven't tracked my food in 23 days.

I am overwhelmed by what all I need to be doing

(this all includes every aspect of my life~~house cleaning, house projects, menu planning, exercise schedule, playing with the kids ((OMG what are we going to do all summer??)), teaching the kids, playdates with kids, playdates with mommies),

yet I have almost no desire or motivation to start any of it. I feel like I am treading water...barely. I have been stuck since April 1st (no foolin'). I have maintained the 30 pounds lost up to that day, but can't seem to move past it. Not a physical plateau, but maybe a mental plateau?

~~am I afraid of succeeding? 30 pounds is right about halfway for me. And it is the best I've done in about 10 years.

~~am I too comfortable? I'm fitting into some old clothes, even having to buy a few new things in a smaller size. Friends and family have really had some nice comments lately, and it feels really good. Am I subconsciously thinking, 'maybe this is good enough'?

~~do I need a new goal? I never did establish a new goal for myself, other than the unspoken lose more weight. And I haven't even tried hard to schedule my reward for hitting the 30 pounds mark. Am I lost in the maze without a piece of cheese to lure me to the exit?

~~am I preparing myself for failure? I have one more session with my trainer next week after 7 months of hand holding. I know what to do at the gym, but will I do it? Will I keep the 'free' appointments with myself (I never once cancelled or rescheduled a paid session)?

Fail to plan, plan to fail.
I need a new plan.