Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My First Time...

What am I doing here? I've lurked on a few other blogs but have never posted any comments. I've never been one to keep a diary and I've never considered myself a talented writer. So why do I think I need to create my own journal of thoughts and who do I think will want to read it? Maybe it is part of the self accountability that I feel will be required in order for me to be successful in my current weight loss battle. So it will be a place for me to vent, to sorta think out loud, to brag, and probably to whine. Probably no one will want to read it or maybe another mom will read it and think to herself, "yep...uhhuh...been there, done that, and ate that too".

When I graduated from high school I was a very average size 8/10, I think. Then in 8 years of college, work, graduate school, and work again, I gradually grew to about a size 16. I started and stopped countless diets and "healthy lifestyle changes", but never enjoyed exercise (i.e. sweat) and have always been an emotional and celebratory eater. Things are going good...let's eat...Things are going bad...let's eat...alot.

Here is a brief history of the significant battles in my private war, 2000 to today:

There was the Matrimonial Battle of 2000 in preparation for the wedding---as the 11 months of preparation flew by, my goal became to simply fit into the dress size that was ordered, no lofty goals of losing, just please please don't gain.

Then the Equestrian Skirmish of 2002 when, while making plans for a surprise trip for my husband's birthday, I learned that the horses on our horseback riding expedition had a weight limit. I had nightmares of being asked to step on a scale before Mr. Ed would let me on board.

Along comes Baby #1 in September 2003. The most embarrassing moment I had ever experienced in front of my husband was being checked into the hospital and having the nurse ask me my weight. Did she purposely stand on the other side of the room and wait for an answer? And don't blame it all on baby, because she needed to know my starting weight as well. Thankfully that moment was replaced 10 hours later with 1.5 hours of pushing, so now I have a new most embarrassing moment.

Battle of the Baby Bulge #1--Ok, May 2005, decide to stay at home with Baby #1, finally away from the constant temptation of working in an office setting with 2 vending machines and a refrigerator within smelling range. Decide to join a gym, with childcare--doing great--lost 28 pounds in about 4 months--feeling great... Hello! Pregnant with Baby #2. Gym membership on hold.

Brief Battle of the Baby Bulge #2--Baby #2 born in May 2006, sweet baby girl...that likes to be held...alot. Tried to start back at the gym Spring of 2007. After being called out of 4 consecutive classes because Sweet baby girl was "inconsolable", gym membership back on hold. I'll give her a few months to grow out of her separation/stranger anxiety and then start back. I'll still wear the work-out clothes though, because they are stylish and oh so comfy!

Surprise it's a BOY! Baby #3 born February 2008.

Battle of the Baby Bulge #3--Ok, I'm done. No more pregnancies for this body. I'm ready to reclaim it for me. I'm ready to have more energy and less rolls. I'm ready to be better than I was before. I'm ready to have a closet with no "X"s or "W"s in the sizes. I'm ready to be a Missy not a Woman. I'm ready to win the War, not just the battle. I'm ready to want to do things with the lights ON....

This time I'm ready!

(That reminds me...I still need to make that Dr.'s appt for my husband...)

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